Right on, Liz Lemon. Right on.
See, guys? This is why, when my love of baseball died a natural girly death when I went away to college, I didn't miss baseball. The gnawing disappointment, the spooky feeling that you, and you alone, are controlling the fate of your favorite team, the crushing and agonizing overinvolvement that you KNOW is ridiculous, but you just can't STOP CARING and WISHING THEY HAD FINISHED DEAD LAST LIKE THE TWINS IN '93 SO THAT IT WOULDN'T HURT GOD THE PAIN.
I am eating a giant slice of sausage pizza to numb the Feelings, invalid as they are. aj
and I walked over to Corner Pizzeria where the speakers blare Sinatra at all hours. Even 8:00 a.m. when CP isn't open. This morning, an African-American mother of two burst out the door of CP during non-business hours (I'm guessing she either owns it or sets them up with breakfast muffins or something) and said in a tone that was either facetious or earnest, "Don't you just LOVE this music?"
I mean, yes, I do. But every morning with the "My Way" or "Fly Me to the Moon." A girl has her limits.
WHY?! WHY DID DEMPSTER FAIL ME?! HE GREW AN ALLURING GINGER BEARD!!! WHERE WAS THE POWER OF HIS MIGHTY ONTARIAN WHISKERS?! GOD IT HURTS SO BAD.(several bites of subpar giant pizza later)
Okay, so then I watched P-Run
This is a conversation I believe happened in the Hamptons after the airing of last week's ep...Tim:
I know you're trying to be supportive, and I appreciate that you went through all the trouble to glitter paint the UP YOUR ASS, YOU DISRESPECTFUL WHORE sign, but...well, I'm her teacher and...Victor:
Tim, I told you that when you look over the tops of your glasses like that, it only makes me want...Tim:
Oh, stop. And for God's sake, please take the effigy of Kenley down from the kitchen doorway. Jen and Violet are coming over later, and we don't want to give her nightmares.Coco Chanel the Pom:
*bark bark!* (roughly translated from Pom: But Daddy, she IS a disrespectful whore!)
After this week's ep? I don't know, maybe Heidi will come over, she and Victor will get drunk on a few bottles of good syrah, and the effigy will go back up. After all, Jen and Vi can't be in New York forever.( I HAVE HAD TO FIGHT MY WHOLE LIFE! )
???????????????????????????? ALL YOU NEEDED TO DO WAS JUST...WIN!! IS THAT SO HARD, CUBS? JOE MANTEGNA JUST SAID AMAZING, WARM, WONDERFUL THINGS ABOUT LOVING YOU IN A YAHOO! COLUMN TODAY!!!
The pizza isn't helping. Maybe if I make an effigy of Kenley.
But seriously, in hilarious news, if you like laughing about and loving Horatio Caine, this is one of my favorite posts from last week.
Also, if you love random shots of TITUS being all TITUSy, piecesofalice
provides them in the comments of my recent lazy picspam of Life.
Be grateful you will not hear from me tomorrow, as I will be at the Gomez concert, trying desperately to earn good karma by being happy and involved in Not Cubs related life activities.