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After laughing merrily at Dr. Cox's assessment of The Biggest Loser as the show where "a 900 pound woman lost a pound and a half and cried for twenty minutes," Mary tricked--tricked--me into watching the Biggest Loser 3 marathon on Bravo.

Wow, for a show that is NOTHING but people crying, which should annoy me, I was hooked.  Mostly because this Samoan guy, Ken, charmed me by BAWLING as one of his teammates was eliminated, and while BAWLING, said, "Peace out, big poppa!" (PS That link has spoilers!!!  As does the following link!)

You guys haven't lived until you've heard a 300-plus pound guy cry while saying "Peace out."

Then I had the unfortunate luck to fall in love.  With Marty.  He's a teacher.  He's SO cute.  He's SO Midwestern and sweet.  OY.

I hate marathons.

Speaking of the TV reality loves of my life, Tim Gunn, everyone.  While watching the horrible addictive cryfest, we also flipped to VH1's Best Year Ever, where Tim Gunn was featured doing six-shooters while unconvincingly saying "Gunn will shoot you down."  I think fate is reminding me that I love Tim Gunn SO much.  More than Marty even.  Firstly, Mary had the Sexiest Man People issue sitting around.  And who writes an article about the foxiness of gray hair while also discussing how he almost got Botox when he was first hired to P-Run? Timothy Gunn.  Hee hee!  Who else was featured as foxy with gray hair?  Victor Garber.  And we all know that I believe that in some alternate universe, Garber and Gunn are living together in the Hamptons with Poms named Godspell and Coco Chanel.  And EW reran that photo where Tim Gunn looked a bit Napoleonic and gorgeous in their Year in Review Project Runway piece.  His book should come out in the spring, and meanwhile, P-Run will suffer if Tim doesn't come back.  Unfiltered Nina and Kors?  Eew.

In lit news, I reread The Endearment by LaVyrle Spencer.  SO corny, you guys.  Unbelievably corny.  I loved it.  And the hero/romantic lead, Karl, was written so unbelievably stereotypically Swedish.  It was hilarious.  I half expected some of it to read: "Bork bork bork!  I was talking to Ole today... and also, I love you, whiskey-haired Irish Anna!"  Awful.  Awful and awesome.  Has anyone else read it?  Let's discuss.  Or I could just write about it tomorrow when I'm at work, away from my roommate's computer that is going batshit crazy.
finefoxyladies: Charlie Brown Crinklesmile (Default)
Mystery solved: Ray Liotta's wonky problem last night was that he was shot up to hell and back with Botox. Thank Kate for figuring that one out. He couldn't move the lower half of his face, and Virginia Madsen was barely controlling the giggles as Liotta squeezed out the words. I can't even begin to express my horror and disappointment that RAY LIOTTA of all people was on national television with this problem. Okay, Kate Jackson I understand. But Ray? Ray! You're supposed to be a macho, macho man!

Harrison Ford, at one point, was guffawing and slapping his knee over a Conan bit. Or the "Dave's not here, man" Cheech and Chong routine he watched earlier in the day while wake 'n' baking with Owen Wilson. Heh. Dave's not here.

I think Dick Clark and Muhammad Ali should join forces and tour all the awards shows making me feel bad and uncomfortable regarding my motor skills.

Tim Gunn and Victor Garber were introduced to one another (though they have several New York friends in common, they discovered over Ketel One martinis and shrimp cocktail) by Tyra and Heidi. Tyra had to excuse herself because her false eyelashes were causing her eyelids to cramp. Tim and Victor kind of made fun of Michael Kors (they're boys, after all) and talked about Wicked and how they both think it's kind of overrated (yet they both totally own the cast recording). Then Victor, ever the forward one, asked if they could have dinner together once they were both back in NYC again.

It did so happen. Because I said it did, that's why.

In closing Look upon the utter adorableness of The Office cast and staff; note how very much like a senior class photo this is! People looking in nine different directions! Carell with eyes closed! Paul Lieberstein SMILING! It's awesome! )

How totally foxy does Angela Kinsey look, by the way? Oh, did I mention that Mindy Kaling had a nipple slip last night? She totally did. Someone hugged her, and the bust of her strapless dress fell down, revealing some of her strapless cuppity bosom holder thing and...some of not that. She handled the whole thing deftly and with grace, not unlike Bridget Fonda learning from Anne Bancroft how to remove a squab bone from her mouth and subtly place it on her dinner plate.

Did anyone see that movie Point of No Return? Gabriel Byrne is way inappropriately foxy in that movie. And yes, I've seen the French original. Yes, it is a better movie. But still and all, Gabriel Byrne!!!


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January 2014

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