Oh, Jericho...I'll miss the beards most of all

[finefoxyladies]

This is Our Hero, Jake Green. He has facial hair as best he can. Mostly he contributes by having hair that teeters between "Milo Vermicelli Floppy" and "Midwestern Apocalypse chic."

He looks pretty nice in black tee shirts.



This is Hawkins. He's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the tricks.

He's a bad mother(shut yo mouth).

Facial hair: well-maintained goatee.



This is Stanley. He usually maintains a facial-hair free post-apocalypse, but that does not detract from the fact that he is beefy, corn-fed, blond, All-American goodness.

He is sad because his deaf sister, Bonnie, is dead. Everyone's pretty sad about that.

Mimi is thinking how lucky she is that she had Stanley. Because he's so beefy and corn-fed. Not because he's sad. Though she understands that, what with Bonnie having saved her life.



This is Eric, Jake's brother.

I would find him scads hotter if he wasn't such a stringbean. And if he didn't kind of remind me of this one kid I went to high school with.

I like his beard, though. He really committed to it in season 2.



This is Major Beck.

He is all kinds of hot.

Look at him there, flaunting his non-facial hairness. Stern and tense in a big-cat way.



This is Heather. She is freckly and a spitfire and totally sings "I Get Weak" by Belinda Carlisle every time she enters Major Beck's office.

I hear you, girlfriend.



He's mad at Heather. Still hot, though.

And then there's Phil Constantino:



He's bad. Not Hawkins bad-ass bad. Just...really, really despotic and unfeeling and...hot. So hot.



Eric Green prepares to have a redux of the Beard-Off of Ought-Six. Eric is super pissed because Constantino killed Mayor Dad.



Phil's all, "Fancy meeting you here. I figured the next time I saw you, you'd be packing."



Eric's all, "Um, not like we didn't kick that idear of TOTALLY BLOWING YOUR HEAD OFF around, buddy."



Phil's all, "Well then. Something to be said for honesty. Shrug. Okay! So! To be better at fighting this new Evil Corporation Government Posing As America? You guys have to kill soldiers after you hijack their supply caravans."

Brrrrrrrrrr.

Omundson's usually--well, not exactly broad as Lassiter, but he's certainly freer with his nonverbal expression.

As Constantino? He doesn't give anything. He'd be stony if he wasn't so blackhearted as well.

God, he's hot. I love his beard. And jacket. And how in charge he looks while he's calmly, methodically making himself The Evil Ruler of a Small But Influential Portion of Tornado Alley. SO EVIL.



Straight-up ovulation, yo.