finefoxyladies | I have never seen that dress you're wearing/or the highlights in your hair that catch your eyes (Reply)

The subtitle of this post? "Oh, Lordy...

kirbyfest was right (and that's not the first time we'll be hearing that)."

So I happened to watch two eps that were thematically linked. It was an accident, as everything is in my Watch LOCI Horrifically Out of Order Adventure.

First, 6x12, "Privilege," aka Richard Kind is Always Guilty aka The One After "The War At Home" aka Doris Roberts: Because Glynis Johns Wasn't Available:

So long story short: the Cliched Blonde Gold-digger of a Daughter-in-Law is hastening Doris Roberts' death. Not exactly the best way to get Goren on your side after the gut-punch of an ep where he struggles with his dying mother.

The knowing, cool way Eames tells Richie Rich, "I'd shut up if I were you?" Just...something. Dude, that was not Eames the Detective. That was Eames: My Partner Hasn't Been Real Together At Work, and Here You Are, Killing Your Mom.

Eames Was Right. As she always is. The fury in Goren's voice is way not professional.

Doris Roberts gets saved, and when the detectives come to visit her, what Goren does breaks my heart a little bit.

After taking her hand to help her down the stairs, Doris takes her hand away, and Goren just holds his hand out for an extra beat. Like he was getting just as much help from the physical contact as Doris.

God.

Then Mystery Shenanigans, and the detectives need a reason to attend Doris' Hooray! You're Alive! We're Totally Sincere About This! party.

Ha ha ha. Eames. I love when she smugs.

Oh, dude, no WONDER she was smug. Look how slammin' she looks in her little black dress! And the fact that Goren barely looks at her this entire scene suggests that he'd rather not face the facts that his partner is A Woman (That He Totally, Totally Has Been Falling in Love With Since Season 3).

When D'Onof pulls out Little Boy Lost expressions like this, I feel like I'm internally bleeding in about nine different places. LOOK AT HIM WAVE AT THE SWEET MATERNAL FIGURE! HOW CAN THAT NOT KILL YOU???

Doris takes their hands to introduce them to all her friends. I smiled, then clutched at my breaking heart like the big drama queen that I am.

And because this episode wasn't winning enough, Eames takes the driver's seat and Goren just looks on as she lays out The Big Theory of Murder:

~~Would someone, ANYONE, please write a Little Black Dress fic? Pllllllleeeeease?~~

Then...oh, then...7x03, "Smile" aka Fred from Angel is the Least Convincing Exec Ever aka KIRBYFEST IS RIGHT OH GOD SHE'S RIGHT SEASON 7 IS ABOUT THEM BREAKING UP!!!

Okay, so I'm going to not cap the exchange between the Poor Crazy Mom Who Holds a Knife to Her Kid's Throat, because gah and also *weeps* Needless to say, Goren saying, "Look, I lost my mom, okay? I lost my mother recently. Can I get a glass of water from you" was awful.

So in 7x01, we have Goren saying, "After a loss...you know, people--well, they screw up." Before, of course, the Going Undercover At the Loony Bin Scenery Om Nom Nom ep, as well as the Dean Winterz/Eames SERVES Goren ep. Telling? Yeah. And in ep 7x03, we get this:
Amy Acker: Least Convincing Exec Ever: I researched you too. You think you're brilliant, but you will never make senior partner.
Goren: (reluctantly honest) You may be right.
AA:LCEE (to Eames) And you...you'll never make captain. You'll be tainted by him. He's insubordinate, unstable. How long before he loses it and takes you down with him?

Then AA:LCEE is taken away in cuffs, and we are left looking in at our detectives from behind a window as they have the following exchange:

Goren: You worried about what she said? That your career is tainted by me?

Eames: I used to.

Goren: Now?

Eames: It's too late.

And she looks at him oh, so briefly, and is gone.

And again, this is before His Undercover Adventures.

WHERE? WHERE ARE MY "WEE SMALL HOURS" DETECTIVES WHO WERE BONDED TOGETHER SO TIGHTLY?

Ugh, she is totally going to break up the partnership. And...I guess rightfully so, not only for her career, but for her peace of mind as a friend, as a woman, as whatever to him, because he can't seem to help himself with the making mistakes. And he's not like Mulder, where he has the assholish charm to cover for himself and his selfish decision-making. And Eames is no Scully, I guess. I guess she won't wait around, forever defending him, looking out for him, being his One and Only Everything.

Also: no magical 11-month-term baby with psychic powers. Which...is probably okay.

*SOB*

Hey, remember season 2, when the grossly tan vet in the Speedo wouldn't stop hitting on Eames?