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finefoxyladiesEwan makes me happy. When the crap is Long Way Up/Long Way Down happening? I've been promised excellent Alton on motorbike action in August, but I'm afraid that the Long Way... series is far more important to me.
That little tear on the cover, wedged betwixt the title's first and second line? That was probably from a teardrop, wept over the beauty of the prose.
Also, I think a far more important question is: Can someone ever convince Mariah that wearing eyelet-spackled valences constitutes a poor fashion choice?
Confidential to Rachelle, who penciled her name into the front cover: if you want this back, there's not much time.
But for real, I am only 30 pages in, and already my heart aches. Sometimes I wish my parents had taken a firmer hand as far as my reading material was concerned. I'm now convinced that I have no chance of ever falling in love and getting married because books like this somehow warped my perception of romance. Then, what with the hard candy shell of irony covering my gooey, runny, brie-textured heart...
1) The heroine, Mariah, wrote a poem for the school paper. I only mention this so that you are prepared for the fact that she mentions it 160,000 times. It's a realistic reflection of how self-centered and convinced of their own brilliance teenagers are, particularly artistic/sensitive teenage girls, but I don't think it was intended for that purpose. I think we, the 13- to 14-year-old reader circa 1982, are supposed to be all, "SIGH! I wish I was a poetess who wears valences and writes poetry about golden sand and seagulls crying."
2) I'm serious. Gold sand and seagulls:
Ask Me Why the Sea Gulls Cry
They watch us walk together, hand in hand,
The gold dust under our feet, no longer sand.
The gentle ocean breeze whispers your name
to me, and mine to you...
Uh, and so on. In that manner. My mouth tastes like an odd combination of nostalgia, laughter, and bile, so I think I'd better stop. I wrote a poem too? Wanna see?
my heart is like a unicorn:
white and fragile
possibly make-believe
with a single horn
rainbows comprise my soul
sunbeam in my pocket
as i lay me down to sleep
this i pray
that you will hold me dear
though i'm far away i'll whisper more Sophie B. Hawkins lyrics.
3) Anyway, Mariah submits this Dickenson-ass-whomping piece of seagullery to her school's paper. The editor, a delightful young man named Dan Gordon, crams a personal rejection into her locker.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Uh, anyway, her reaction is, true to character, hilarious: she's SUPER PISSED because Dan points out that the poetry corner (I like to think of it as Tracy Jordan's "Mus-ingssssssss") is usually upbeat and modern and not about scavenger birds circling the wreckage of her Danny Zuko who Campbell Scotted out on her last summer. The last two poems were about Frisbees! FRISBEES! Dan wouldn't know poetry if Lord Byron kicked him in the nuts!
4) Mariah's BFF Amy, in the grand tradition of tween books, is a total Ado Annie, who's only saved from sluttiness by her quaint BFF and her wretched past as an ugly duckling. Amy is supposed to be funny. She is not. It's not her fault. It's just that anyone wearing a "So Many Boys, So Little Time" tee is 1982's answer to those girls who wear "Diva" or "Princess" shirts unironically. Lame. Anyway, Amy proves her own poetic prowess by defending her friend's honor thusly: "That jerk! That nerd! That turkey!"
She goes on to further insinuate that Dan Gordon is a jive turkey.
5) Amy signs Mariah up for drama club prop duty without telling her. Mariah's reaction:
"Wha-at?" (Ed. note: HAHAHAHA! She's Moe Syzlak.) The nerve of her! Signing up for me! I threw my books down into the tall weeds, put my hands on my hips, and gaped at her."
I will tell y'all right now that if any of you use the preceding sequence to display your displeasure, I will laugh myself right into a stroke. I will blow a damn blood vessel, I swear. Chucking books into WEEDS + Aunt Bea posture of oh no you di'int + gaping = ROTFL.
6) "A yellow and green butterfly fluttered in front of us and then suddenly was gone." Oh, please.
On the other hand, Ms. Katherine![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
katiem58, you got faced: Mariah does not have violet eyes and raven hair; she has green eyes with gold flecks.
Mariah, in essence, is yours truly. Mariah and I are Mary Sues of The First Order.
I'm putting this under my svh tag, because this book may just be better than Kidnapped!
That little tear on the cover, wedged betwixt the title's first and second line? That was probably from a teardrop, wept over the beauty of the prose.
Also, I think a far more important question is: Can someone ever convince Mariah that wearing eyelet-spackled valences constitutes a poor fashion choice?
Confidential to Rachelle, who penciled her name into the front cover: if you want this back, there's not much time.
But for real, I am only 30 pages in, and already my heart aches. Sometimes I wish my parents had taken a firmer hand as far as my reading material was concerned. I'm now convinced that I have no chance of ever falling in love and getting married because books like this somehow warped my perception of romance. Then, what with the hard candy shell of irony covering my gooey, runny, brie-textured heart...
1) The heroine, Mariah, wrote a poem for the school paper. I only mention this so that you are prepared for the fact that she mentions it 160,000 times. It's a realistic reflection of how self-centered and convinced of their own brilliance teenagers are, particularly artistic/sensitive teenage girls, but I don't think it was intended for that purpose. I think we, the 13- to 14-year-old reader circa 1982, are supposed to be all, "SIGH! I wish I was a poetess who wears valences and writes poetry about golden sand and seagulls crying."
2) I'm serious. Gold sand and seagulls:
Ask Me Why the Sea Gulls Cry
They watch us walk together, hand in hand,
The gold dust under our feet, no longer sand.
The gentle ocean breeze whispers your name
to me, and mine to you...
Uh, and so on. In that manner. My mouth tastes like an odd combination of nostalgia, laughter, and bile, so I think I'd better stop. I wrote a poem too? Wanna see?
my heart is like a unicorn:
white and fragile
possibly make-believe
with a single horn
rainbows comprise my soul
sunbeam in my pocket
as i lay me down to sleep
this i pray
that you will hold me dear
though i'm far away i'll whisper more Sophie B. Hawkins lyrics.
3) Anyway, Mariah submits this Dickenson-ass-whomping piece of seagullery to her school's paper. The editor, a delightful young man named Dan Gordon, crams a personal rejection into her locker.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Uh, anyway, her reaction is, true to character, hilarious: she's SUPER PISSED because Dan points out that the poetry corner (I like to think of it as Tracy Jordan's "Mus-ingssssssss") is usually upbeat and modern and not about scavenger birds circling the wreckage of her Danny Zuko who Campbell Scotted out on her last summer. The last two poems were about Frisbees! FRISBEES! Dan wouldn't know poetry if Lord Byron kicked him in the nuts!
4) Mariah's BFF Amy, in the grand tradition of tween books, is a total Ado Annie, who's only saved from sluttiness by her quaint BFF and her wretched past as an ugly duckling. Amy is supposed to be funny. She is not. It's not her fault. It's just that anyone wearing a "So Many Boys, So Little Time" tee is 1982's answer to those girls who wear "Diva" or "Princess" shirts unironically. Lame. Anyway, Amy proves her own poetic prowess by defending her friend's honor thusly: "That jerk! That nerd! That turkey!"
She goes on to further insinuate that Dan Gordon is a jive turkey.
5) Amy signs Mariah up for drama club prop duty without telling her. Mariah's reaction:
"Wha-at?" (Ed. note: HAHAHAHA! She's Moe Syzlak.) The nerve of her! Signing up for me! I threw my books down into the tall weeds, put my hands on my hips, and gaped at her."
I will tell y'all right now that if any of you use the preceding sequence to display your displeasure, I will laugh myself right into a stroke. I will blow a damn blood vessel, I swear. Chucking books into WEEDS + Aunt Bea posture of oh no you di'int + gaping = ROTFL.
6) "A yellow and green butterfly fluttered in front of us and then suddenly was gone." Oh, please.
On the other hand, Ms. Katherine
katiem58, you got faced: Mariah does not have violet eyes and raven hair; she has green eyes with gold flecks.Mariah, in essence, is yours truly. Mariah and I are Mary Sues of The First Order.
I'm putting this under my svh tag, because this book may just be better than Kidnapped!